ONE on ONE DATE
- When Ben and Kacie descended upon the private island, was I the only person who thought about the "heart shaped" lagoon from Ali's season? The heart shaped lagoon that really looked like a lazy amoeba? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Okay then.
- Props to Caleb for pointing out that the fish Ben and Kacie "caught" in their net was totally dead. There's no question about it. Someone else caught that fish, allowed it to suffocate, and then put it in their net. PETA should be furious.
- The best part of Kacie discussing her eating disorder: that her parents confronted her about it at a Super Bowl party. As a straight man (I feel that needs to be said since I am the commissioner of a Bachelor fantasy league), I had two thoughts about this:
1.) That's a great way to ruin a Super Bowl party. How'd you like to be a guest at the house when Kacie's parents start railing on her for puking up the pizza you all just ate before kickoff?
2.) Which Super Bowl was it? I mean, are we talking the Rams-Titans game which was one of the most exciting Super Bowls ever or was it perhaps the Ravens-Giants game, a contest that was so awful that I personally would have loved for a family confrontation to break out at my Super Bowl party to distract from the boring. These are the things we need to know, Kacie.
- Lastly, I enjoyed that on a scale of 1 to Wonderful, Kacie would rate this date as "Fantastic." How do we quantify that, Kacie? Where does "Fantastic" fall on that scale? That's like comparing Schrute Bucks to Stanley Nickels. No one knows the conversion rate!
GROUP DATE
- Dear Courtney, You're a whore. Signed - Everyone Everywhere Including the Panamanian Natives. You just shook your bare boobs at a group of 5 year old boys. If Ben had done the equivalent to a group of girls, Chris Harrison would have immediately been replaced by Chris Hanson and The Bachelor would have turned into an impromptu version of To Catch a Predator: Panama. Also, please stop talking about skinny dipping. Please.
- Did anyone else enjoy the poorly-done CGI loin clothes The Bachelor crew drew over those little kids? Your ratings are reaching all new heights and your overhead consists of flying girls to resort locations and providing booze but that's the best we can do in the realm of computer effects? Sad.
- Lindzi referring to Ben as her boyfriend was a bad move. I'm just sayin'.
- How bad did everyone feel for Jamie on this date? Here's this shy, self-described prudish girl trying to work up the courage to do something not-so-prudish, baring her soul to the guy she likes who clearly has no interest in her. And all the time behind her is the town hussy strutting around in a string bikini. She never stood a chance.
- Lastly, Emily showed exactly why she could win this whole thing and why she probably won't in the span of 3 minutes. That whole bit about being in love with the chief...smart, funny, well-done. Ben needs someone funny because he has no personality of his own and he probably thinks that Two and Half Men is the height of comedy. Good move, Emily...and then she walks over to the group and immediately gets into it with Courtney. How do you not know how that conversation will go at this point? Stupid.
TWO on ONE DATE
- True or false: When the cameras aren't rolling, Rachel and Lindzi smoke Lucky Strikes together on a balcony. I say true.
- It didn't make me squirm the way Jamie did later in the show, but I was almost more uncomfortable when poor Blakeley was showing Ben her journal and pouring out her heart. I just wanted to yell, "Blakeley! He doesn't care! Let it go!"
- And Rachel, way to tap into your inner Courtney after Blakeley's dismissal. Catty and childish. Way to stay classy.
CASEY S
- I'm not saying this is DEFINITELY what happened. I'm just presenting a hypothetical. Is it possible that Casey S is too stupid to know she's still in a relationship back home? Think it over and let's come up with a consensus.
- I think she was trying to talk her way out of the inevitable boot she was about to receive. But the more she rattled on, the worse it got. She probably said about 27 things that would immediately earn her a kick to the curb...and then she just kept going and going. Yikes.
- On the bright side for Casey, she did cement herself in the "Ugly Crier Hall of Fame" and that's more than any Bachelor contestant can ask for.
- And by the way, how COLD was Ben in that scene?! I'm not saying I'd do anything different but wow, he had absolutely no warm for her whatsoever. And to top it all off, the subsequent, "That sucked, now I must go stand on my balcony to think this over" scene was awesome.
JAMIE
- Oh dear goodness. I feel like that sums it all up.
- That might be the worst, most awkward thing I've ever seen on this show. I couldn't even look at the screen, I was so embarrassed for her. Somewhere Jamie's relatives and friends were watching this episode and each one of them questioned whether or not they should continue their relationships with her. It was painful.
- Let Jamie be a lesson to us all: normal people DO NOT belong on this show. (Somewhere Tinley is nodding her head furiously.) I would not be surprised if she doesn't show up for the reunion show. I would also not be surprised if she never returns home and winds up creating a new identity for herself on the streets of Panama.
Best Scene: Anyone else enjoy the random, extended shot of a cat during Blakeley's dismissal? What was that about? I'm not sure but it was awesome.
Best Line: "Latin dancing is very sexual and sensual and that's who I am." - Blakeley. YUP! Never has there been a more true statement.
KELBY
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +50p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +50p
Add/Drop Bonus - +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 335
Previous Total: 1130
SEASON TOTAL: 1465
MALLORY
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 235
Previous Total: 1025
SEASON TOTAL: 1260
EMMELIE
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +100p
Add/Drop Bonus - +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 335
Previous Total: 975
SEASON TOTAL: 1310
JENNA
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Lindzi - Kiss: +25p
Lindzi - Rose on Group Date: +50p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +35p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +45p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 265
Previous Total: 865
SEASON TOTAL: 1130
CALEB
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Lindzi - Kiss: +25p
Lindzi - Rose on Group Date: +50p
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 310
Previous Total: 862
SEASON TOTAL: 1172
MICAH
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 235
Previous Total: 845
SEASON TOTAL: 1080
LINDSEY
Lindzi - Kiss: +25p
Lindzi - Rose on Group Date: +50p
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +50p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +50p
Add/Drop Bonus - +100p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 325
Previous Total: 805
SEASON TOTAL: 1130
KYLIE
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Nicki - Kiss: +25p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +50p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +50p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 235
Previous Total: 745
SEASON TOTAL: 980
MOLLY
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Lindzi - Kiss: +25p
Lindzi - Rose on Group Date: +50p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +75p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +25p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 285
Previous Total: 710
SEASON TOTAL: 995
SARAH
Rachel - Survives a 2-on-1 Date: +50p
Rachel - Kiss: +25p
Jamie - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +50p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 260
Previous Total: 535
SEASON TOTAL: 795
BRIAN
Jamie - Kiss: +25p
Blakeley - Kiss: +25p
Emily - Kiss: +25p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +100p
Total: 175
Previous Total: 500
SEASON TOTAL: 675
LAURA BETH
Jamie - Kiss: +25p
Emily - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - 1-on-1 Date: +25p
Kacie B - Helicopter Ride: +25p
Kacie B - Kiss: +25p
Kacie B - Rose on 1-on-1: +10p
Casey S - Elimination Pick: +50p
Jamie - Elimination Pick: +50p
2 or More in Final 7 Bonus: +25p
Total: 260
Previous Total: 295
SEASON TOTAL: 555
Oh my goodness. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. I feel like this one episode with Jamie actually speaking, was equivalent to the entire first season of Felicity. Man, just give up. I seriously didn't watch 75% of it, but hearing her talk so fast and NOT flirt just about killed me.
ReplyDeleteIf Ben doesn't choose Courtney at the end of this thing, then whoever he DID pick has already mailed back the ring. Wow he is not a wise kid at all. His hormones are in complete control of this thing. I will say, I love that she never gets the first rose.
I'm soooo excited about hometown dates in a couple of weeks. Gosh, I hope Courtney stays in that long so we can meet the two people that birthed her eyebrow.